My days of boredom are finally over.. I came home from Åland a couple of days ago.. Well, on thursday to be exact. I've been packing my things into boxes, and let me tell you: it's not easy. I've thrown away millions and millions of little objects, and still I've got 2 boxes, á 30 kg. I should still narrow it down a bit, but right now I'm in a spot where I just don't know what I would take off!! Ok, I know, it's not your problem, but I'll still whine.

Should I tell you a bit about my job there? Well, it's quite easy. Really easy, if I may say. Once a week, on saturday usually, I had to go to the cabins to meet´n´greet. Every once in a while there were a couple of cabins to clean, but usually there wasn't. During weeks I did go there daily, just so that I'd be there if people had something to ask, but usually they didn't. Who else would like to have a job like that? Goddamit it was easy. But there's of course the thing that the place was in the middle of nowhere, and there were no one in my agegroup to talk to after the "butikbiträdes" had left. But I did get some money, and that was fun. And now it's only two weeks till I'm off.. :) No, it's less. Help!

It's my last day at home. Well, last day in for a while. I'm quite nervous about the job.. Everyone knows how nerve-wrecking it is, starting your first day at a new place.. For me it's even more horrible, since I've never seen the place, or the owner. Even the job interview was done on phone.. But as I've said, I'll be fine. I believe so.

Well, nuff said about that. I had my graduation - thingie yesterday.. I made one huge mistake at the official thing at our school: we were supposed to stay standing till everyone had come to their places, and I almost sat. It doesn't sound that huge, and it isn't, but everyone around me know that I made the mistake.. I was probably the only one over there who made a mistake.. At least I don't know if anyone else did.. I even got a couple of .. what you call it.. scholarships? Well, anyway, I got a 100 euros from Finnish - American society, and a dictionary from some other place.. And of course I'm happy I got the dictionary... But the thing is that it's Finnish-English-Finnish, and I already have one! And another that's English-Finnish... Well, I can always sell it, right? :)
And at home things went quite well, too. I ate cake. Loads of it. Now I feel sick, 'cause I ate all that cake. But what can I say, I like cake.
I also got money. Not as much money like others probably did, since our family's not that rich, but enough money to buy the plane tickets.. I'll go and pay them tomorrow, before I start my huge journey. Or should I wait if there would be flights departing from the airport near to my hometown.. I think I should.. I don't think all the tickets will sell during June.. Should I take the risk? Dunno.

Anyways. I've got to go and pack now. Dunno when we'll see the next time, but I'm sure you'll all miss me.. :)

I am starting to get annoyed... Because of myself.. My lack of practice in actual writing has finally taken its revenge on me, and I now see, that I totally suck at it. I've tried for a couple of weeks now, and I AM getting better at it, but I'm still not at that spot where I was a couple of years ago.. And on top of it all, my computer, made in HongKong, year 2000 b.C., is trying to piss me off. And succeeds in it. It sucks. After I come from my small imprisonement from that small island, and there's money in my account, I'll go and buy a computer.. A nice one, from this century. I'm gonna need it, since university means a lot of work.. And I've got to buy it from here, since I can't operate on those weird british keyboards.. Ei umlautteja... Mitä nekin ajatteli?

Wrong things WAS there, I just didn't notice.. Silly of me.

Update on the university-thing: nothing has happened. Fun, ay? I did send the accomodation papers, but they can't do anything before I send the results, and as I said, I can't send the results till I get my first pay. Ok, so I didn't say? Ok, so the deal is that they can officially offer me a place at the halls when they receive my results, and I can't send the results just yet, 'cause I'm skint, and if I'd send the results and got the offer, I'd have to pay £100 pounds ( round $200, something like 170 euros ) just for the fun of signing the lease. So I'll have to wait till the beginning of July. It doesn't matter, Brits get their results in August. :)

The only thing that worrys me a bit in this whole accomodation thing are the rooms. Because of the lack of funds I am forced to lodge in the cheapest ( and crappiest ) rooms. Kinda scared about that after I heard some 100 complaints + all those of Finnish students. And I'm also regretting that I put a postgrad., 2nd year student - flat as my first choice.. Sure the studying might be easier, but how about the nitelife?

But I guess it's time for this little bird to go and bake some. Really, I've got to bake stuff for my party. How stupid is that? I have to do everything.. Well, I guess it's better this way. See you later,

I'll leave you with a "fun and uplifting" bit of information : during the years 1939 - 1941, the nazis used the gas chamber in a so called "euthanasia - program" ( free translation from Finnish, correct me if I'm wrong ), where all in all at least 120.000 invalids, and s.c. anti-social people were killed.

How many people must die for no reason before we learn?

and I'm happy. it's been a whil since I last wrote. Yeah, like you'd know.

Anyway, as I said, I'm on a good mood. See, I finally got a job.. I am going to spend the whole summer in asterholma, a small island in the archipelago of Åland Islands. So I'll spend my summer in the middle of nowhere, cleaning cottages and renting boats. Well, guess what: I don't really care. I get 1000 Euros per month + accomodation and food! And this means I'll be able to pay for my plane tickets without the help of my dad, and I'll be able to send my shit overseas. It's great. And I can always visit the "motherland" every once in a while, or go to Mariehamn. Det vore kiva. Det kan jag säga. The only thing I'm a bit worried about is the language. Is my Swedish good enough? I haven't used it since September, and I already noticed the lack of practice when I spoke with my new employer. But I'm sure I'll be fine in a couple of weeks.. I'd better be.. :)

Anyway, it's graduation day next saturday. I guess I'm supposed to start baking on monday. I ended up having the party anyway.. I love my dress, and I love my cap. So I guess I should show 'em to everyone. And besides, presents are always nice.. Except if they're really heavy, 'coz I have to send ALL my shit to UK, and it already costs me 200 euros, so if I get any more stuff, it ain't gonna be nice.

Anyway ( have you noticed that I use the word a lot? ), I've been on this computer for 2 hours already, and I think I've got to go now, so my dad won't get mad.. I don't know when I'll be able to write again, though I hope that'll be pretty soon.. ( Like you'd care )

And one request, loved ones.. DO SOMETHING TO GET 'WRONG THINGS' BACK! Loved the little fucker..

It's mother's day again. yippee. This is the day when you're supposed to celebrate the one and only wonder: you. I mean, hey, let's be honest. Our mothers wouldn't be mothers if we weren't here. So, on mother's day it's like saying thanks to your mother for bringing you to brighten the world.

I can't stand my mother. Nowadays she makes me physically ill.. And I'm serious. Well, I guess the stomach flu I'm having is helping a bit.. :) No, but seriously, I don't know what I'm going thru right now, but I know it ain't fun. I might actually go and see the doctor tomorrow.. Or I'll be fine in five minutes. The only annoying thing in this is that I have to keep on looking for some work.. So, last night, 10p.m. to be exact, I wrote an application. I didn't dear to look at it today, fretting that I had put something really stupid in it, so now, at 5.21. pm, I sent it, hoping that I didn't totally embarass myself. It's not a good thing to write official letters when you're sick and delirious..

By the way, the whole working-in-England-thing... The guy didn't call. How rude is that, first to say that you'll call, and then never call.. Cruel. Well, thank God it's out of my hands.

Okay, here's the deal.. As you might know, I have my graduation on May 29th, I get my photo taken on May 28th, and I have no job for the summer. Well, now the situation has changed so that I might be able to get a job in London.. Great?

Not. Here's what's wrong with it. Right now the whole financial situation of my family is a bit... Well, quite tight. And it takes 100 Euros to go to London. And I should start next week. So, in order to take that job, I ought to go there, and then take 4 days off to come here and then to go back there. I mean, I'm sure it's a great opportunity, and it would be way cool to be there and all. But it's all too complicated! So nothing's going right! I mean, I'm in the middle of two equally bad choices: either to go through all that trouble, take a chance and go to work to London, or to stay here and just be lazy all summer long. God, I wish someone would make a decision for me.. You know, like my father... He could just say that he hasn't got the money to send me there or something.

I'm so angry for myself, 'cause I applied there. Why did I do that? I wish I hadn't.. Please, someone, tell me what to do?!

Ok, from one thing to the postal worker.

I am writing again.. A couple of days ago I found some old essays that I've written ages ago, and I got this great idea from one of them. And I've been writing and writing ever since..I know I'm no writer, but I love writing, and I hope I'll be good enough to be one some day. It's been my dream for a long time now. Being a writer, I mean. I don't do it for money - everyone knows that to make a living on writing, one has to be very good at it. But I guess I'm kind of a exhibionist. Other reveal parts of their bodies, I do the same with my soul. As simple as that.

I've also taken up on exercising again. I had totally forgotten, how nice is to come from a long walk / run, and go to a cool shower.. There's nothing that would beat the high I get from endorfines.. Some people say that sex's even better, but I wouldn't know, would I? :)

Anyway, gotta go and wait for a call from my possible employer.. *argh* See you guys later ( and don't forget to write to the thingie on the left )

Yes, in Finland we have such a funny day called May Day.. Actually, it was yesterday, but let's not be smart-asses.. My life is going fine right now, if we ignore the fact that there seem to be absolutely no flights ( that I could afford ) on 18th of September, from Turku to Aberdeen. well, there was one, but I don't think I'll pay 1090 euros, just to get there.. I'll use Ryanair, if I have to..

Lately I've been checking out what communities my uni has.. And I've got to say: I like what I see.. there are many music-related groups, which is always good. AND there's a university air squadron.. For a really long time now I've wanted to learn how to fly, and I even thought of going to some school to get a formal education in flying.. But unfortunately I can't afford that. And now, as I was browsing the prospectus, I saw this page: "service units". the whole UAS-thing of course is ment to be a practise before joining the Royal Air Force, but they say it isn't a must.. The beauty of this thing is that the training's absolutely free of charge! But the competition's fierce, and to be honest.. I don't know if I have what it takes. But I'll try, and let them decide.. :)

Anyway, gtg now, talk to you later..

To win new readers, I thought I should switch to a better-known language. For some reason I just got bored of having absolutely no readers at all.  And even though this means that I’m risking my old two friends.. well, sorry guys, this is something I want to do..

My life is looking quite.. well, ok, right now. It isn’t perfect, but I’m doing fine.

A couple of days ago my dad and I went shopping, basically because I had to buy a dress for my graduation day on May 28th. And boy, did we find one! After 5 hours ( ! ) of shops and dresses, we finally bought one that I absolutely love. I’ve tried it on a couple of times, and I’ll probably wear it round the house a lot, ’cause I just love it so much! It’s pink. But not like piggy-pink. ”Old rose”, said the saleswoman. It’s got lace in the chest-part, but only a little. Usually I’m into princess-type of dresses, but this one is really simple and clear. And did I mention that I love it?

I’m quite excited about my high school graduation.. It’s a really big step for me: after that I can officially accept a place in the university of Aberdeen, it’ll all be official then. My dad promised to pay my plane tickets, and the rent deposit, so I’m doing great in that area. What comes to my relationship with my mom… Well, she is my mother.. And I really, really would want to forgive her. But I can’t. I just can’t. I’m thinking about the graduation day.. As most of you know, it’s a custom to organise a party after that.. And I really would like to have all my relatives come and give me presents . But I don’t think I could pretend to be happy for that long. I just can’t stand my mom, not even for a couple of minutes, let alone a couple of hours. And I’d really have to decide quite soon, since there’s only.. what, 4 weeks to go?

Well, gotta think about it..